In Memoriam Read online

  I grab my backpack, in which I’ve placed the school supplies January and Pete brought me in the hospital after my heart attack, and head downstairs. Juliana pulls up just as I look out the front window.

  “Did you take the meds?” my father asks as I open the front door.

  “Check,” I say and I run for Juliana’s car.

  “Emma, what the hell was up with that premonition?” Lia asks as soon as I shut Juliana’s front passenger side door; Shar is in back with Lia, so I’m up front with Juliana as usual.

  I turn so I can look at Lia and Shar. “You guys heard that pig say he was gonna rape our guide, too?”

  Shar nods, her forehead revealing worry lines. “Yeah. We were listening to what people were saying, trying to figure out what the premonition was about, then he said that and his head blew up.”

  “Did either of you make the guy’s head explode?”

  “No,” they say simultaneously.

  I bite my bottom lip. “Neither did I. But I think we all might’ve done it together.”

  Shar’s forehead wrinkles even more. “Why?”

  “We were upset by what he said and we were all angry with him. So, maybe the three of us being upset at the same time was enough to do that now that we’re so powerful and have black magick in us.”

  Juliana chimes in from behind the wheel. “Sounds like a possibility to me.”

  Lia’s face reddens. “Well, fuck. How are we ever supposed to go out in public again if that’s what happens?”

  My jaw clenches for a second. “Shit, I just remembered something.”

  “What?” they both snap at once.

  “Ruth told me we needed to make talismans against evil with our pentacle necklaces. I was gonna have us do it last night but I fell asleep then I forgot when I woke up.”

  “A lot of good that does us now,” Shar says, having a rare sarcastic moment.

  “Well, if we do it, that should help us,” I say. “It will not only protect us from other people’s black magick but prevent our own from being used to hurt anyone else.”

  “Do you know the spell?” Lia asks.

  “No. Well, not yet. I saw the spell – it’s a barrier against evil protection spell – in the back of the Book of Shadows when I flipped through it yesterday before we all met up, but I barely skimmed the titles.”

  “Wait. Do you have the talismans I made you on you?” Juliana asks.

  “Yes,” we all say.

  “Those protect you from evil.”

  “But they must not protect others from ours,” I say. “Or we never would’ve saw that happening because we wouldn’t have been such a threat.”

  “You didn’t read any of the spell, Em?” Shar asks.

  I swallow a toad in my throat. “No. Sorry.”

  “Well, maybe if we pray we can make them keep our black magick from getting out,” Juliana says. That’s right – Juliana helped waste J so she has black magick in her now, too.

  “We should do our necklaces, not the talismans,” Lia says. “Because there’s no way we can have our talismans on us at all times. Like if you’re swimming. Or sleeping. But we’ll always have our necklaces on.”

  “Good point,” Shar says. “Let me say a prayer.”

  We listen.

  “Lord and Lady, Gods and Goddesses, Angels and Saints, we need your help. Please charm our necklaces so they can protect us from doing evil – deliberately or accidentally – as well as protect us from the evil of others. We only want to do good with our magick and not harm anyone. And as much as that guy probably deserves it, we do not want to make his head explode. We’ll warn that girl about him so she isn’t raped, but please, don’t let us make that happen. Let us only do good. Please. Accept this prayer in substitute for the barrier against evil protection spell. We are your humble servants. So mote it be. Amen.”

  “So mote it be. Amen,” Lia, Juliana and I say.

  Suddenly, I feel my pentacle necklace warming up under my shirt. I reach in and take it out and it’s glowing: a bright, white light one second and a darker, almost black light the next. Not that anyone’s ever heard of things glowing black, but it is. I turn and look at Lia and Shar and their pentacles are doing the same. Juliana unbuttons the top few buttons of her shirt and pulls out her own pentacle – a larger, golden one – and it’s glowing light and dark, too.

  “Go, Shar,” Juliana says.

  Shar lets out a loud sigh of relief.

  “Yeah, go Shar,” I say.

  “Congratulations, you just saved a would-be rapist’s life,” Lia says in her smart ass voice. But nobody thinks it’s funny. I know she meant it to be, but I can’t bring myself to laugh about a rapist. Neither can Shar, apparently.

  Now we’re approaching the school.

  “Just pull over here,” Lia says, referring to the sidewalk, which is about 150 feet in front of the school.

  “The pamphlet said there’s a drop off area on the other side of the building,” Juliana says, pulling over.

  “That’s why we’re getting out here.”

  “Why, you’re afraid to be seen with me?”

  “Mom, half the kids in our class will already have their licenses. So, no, being seen getting a ride from a parental unit isn’t very cool.”

  Lia opens the door and gets out so that’s what Shar and I do, too, after thanking Juliana, of course.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  SHARAN

  As Em, Li and I get out of the car, I am overwhelmed with guilt because we have another problem they don’t know about yet. A problem I haven’t even told Li about yet. One that is as almost as awful as making that pig’s head explode. And it’s my fault.

  Once Jul’s car is down the street from the school, I begin to spill the beans. “Guys, I have to talk to you.”

  The color drains from Em’s face as she looks at me. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  I attempt to swallow, but I’m so nervous that I can’t. “I’m afraid it’s serious.”

  Although Li looks stunned, she smiles as she reaches for my hand and takes it in hers, which feels so much warmer than my own right now. Normally, I’d find her gesture encouraging, but what I’m about to say is bad so it fails to stop my shoulders from quivering.

  “So, what is it?” Em asks, now completely pale.

  I attempt to swallow again, but still can’t. “This morning. When we had the premonition. I had a seizure.”

  “Me, too,” Li and Em say at once. Then Em adds, “I collapsed and blacked out in the shower. And my father found me. It was pretty humiliating.”

  Li sighs. “Thank Goddess I was sitting on my bed, tying my sneakers, so I just laid down when I started seizing and my mother didn’t hear me.”

  “Lucky you,” Em says. “Did you black out?”

  “That or I fell asleep.”

  Are they ever going to let me talk? I raise my voice and speak quickly so I can get a word in edgewise. “I had just gotten dressed and opened my door so I could go ask Arja something. Then the seizure struck and I collapsed and – ”

  “ – She saw?” Em interrupts.

  I nod and finally manage to swallow, though I shiver and goose bumps form on my arms. “She wanted to call an ambulance. I mean, she was about to call one when I came to. I saw her dial two numbers. I couldn’t have her dialing the third. I wasn’t gonna miss school because she wanted me to go to the hospital, you know? So, I did what I had to do. I used magick to yank the phone out of her hand and into mine.”

  Li and Em’s jaws drop and they look at each other then they stare at me, as though they’re waiting for me to tell them it’s fine. But I can’t. I can’t even find the words to say anything else.

  Li speaks slowly. “What did big sister think about magick?”

  I take a deep breath while I pull my hand away from her and tap it against my forehead a few times. I just feel so stupid; I can’t help it. “It didn’t go well. I don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

  “What did Arja
say exactly?” Em asks.

  “Well, I told her I was a witch because she demanded I explain how I moved the phone and it’s not like I had time to concoct another answer, you know?”

  “We get it,” Li says and places a hand on my shoulder affectionately.

  I try to take a few deep breaths, but it’s fruitless. My heart and lungs are raging now. My words tumble out quickly, like a racing dog just let out of a gate. “She went off on me about how witchcraft is evil, how I’m sacrificing my soul to the devil, and how the Bible says you’re not even supposed to allow a witch to live.”

  “Were you able to calm her down?” Em asks and sucks her lips into her mouth.

  “Well, she wanted to call and tell our parents already. I told her they’d be just as upset with her for telling them.”

  “Smart thinking,” Li says and starts to rub the middle of my back in soothing circles.

  “Yeah, but she said we need to discuss this with my parents soon. Although I reminded her how the Catholic Church hides pedophile priests and still thinks people go to hell for gay sex. So, if she doesn’t think I should burn for being gay then with any luck she won’t feel differently about my being a witch.”

  “She say anything else?” Li asks.

  “Not really. She just sat down and buried her face in her hands. Just before Juliana picked me up I told her I wouldn’t have survived the shooting if I wasn’t a witch, that none of us would have.”

  Em gives me the evil eye. “So, she knows we’re a coven now?” I can’t tell if she’s angry with me or just worried about people finding out she’s a witch.

  I nod. “Yeah, I guess she could’ve drawn that conclusion.”

  Em shakes her head and her brow creases. “How could she not, if you said none of us would’ve survived without witchcraft?”

  “Emma, chill,” Li says.

  I shake my head. “No, she’s right. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Li glares at me. “It’s OK. Right, Emma?”

  Em’s bottom lip quivers. “If that’s everything that was said.”

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t. “When I was on the way out the door she raised her voice and asked if the real reason they attacked us was because we’re witches. But I didn’t stop to answer.”

  “If she asks you again,” Em says, “You have to tell her no, that they had no idea we were witches until they tried to kill us and we started using magick.”

  Li shoots Emma an angry look. The way she usually does if she thinks she’s bossing me around.

  “No, Emma’s right,” I say to Li. “If I say they knew we were witches, she’ll say that’s why the shooting happened, and tell my parents and they’ll all hate me. It’s bad enough she must hate me now.”

  “Dude, she’s your big sister,” Li says. “She’ll come around.”

  “I’d try to erase her memory, but I couldn’t live with myself if I erased too much or worse.”

  Li rubs my back. “I get it.”

  The school bell rings, making me shudder. It’s much louder and piercing than the bell at Noah’s Catholic. Or maybe I’m just wicked sensitive right now.

  “Guess it’s time to report to the principal’s office,” Em says.

  “Ugh,” Li and I say at the exact same second, proving our shared brain is indeed working nicely.

  Just remember – if we have to talk about witch stuff in school we use telepathy, Em says.

  We walk down the sidewalk toward the front entrance where there’s a cluster of students hanging out. This includes the guys we saw in the premonition, the would be rapist among them, and a few girls, Melinda included. A few people are taking photos of us with their phones. “Do you think our fans will outnumber the haters?”

  “I hope so,” Li says. “Provided we don’t make that guy’s head combust.”

  We all have a laugh at that thought, but it’s quickly replaced by fear.

  “Hey, wait up!” I hear January call as we’re about 10 feet from the door. I look over and see that Pete and Jim are with her.

  Em hurries over to Jim and they hug and kiss, but no tongues as we’ve already read the school’s policy about P.D.A.s, which basically states that they’re not allowed and are punishable with detention and, eventually, suspension and expulsion, if you’re a repeat offender. God forbid you’re a romantic here.

  Lia and I step off the sidewalk and meet January and Pete on the grass. We all say a quick hello before I ask January, “You guys have been here since last week. Any advice?”

  “Not really. Just try not to make eye contact with anyone.” She laughs nervously.

  “That’s it?” Li asks.

  Pete speaks, mostly looking at his sneakers. “January and I – we got through last week by introducing ourselves to the geeks, gamers and hackers – where we fit in well enough. But we – we – well, we all have each other now.”

  “So, it’s not like we need to make new friends. Is that what you’re saying?” I ask.

  He nods. “I guess. I mean, I think our gang is big enough that we don’t have to join some other group.”

  January starts rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet, clearly wishing to get a word in.

  “Yes, January?” I ask.

  She smiles. “What Pete means is we can make new friends so long as we don’t forget about our current friends.”

  “Just what I wanted to hear,” I say.

  “That’s right, isn’t it Pete?” Li asks him.

  He’s about to answer when Em and Jim join us. Now we’re standing in a small-ish circle. Guess this is what the expanded coven would’ve looked like – minus Juliana – if he’d gotten his wish. I feel bad because if I hadn’t been so opposed to expanding it then I could’ve swayed Li and Em would’ve gone along with it. So, you could say I singlehandedly ruined Pete, Jim and Juliana’s chances of ever joining our coven.

  “Any warnings for us, Pete?” Em asks.

  Li, January and I can’t help but laugh. Pete gets flustered, his face reddening.

  “What?” Em asks and bites her top lip.

  “Pete was just giving us his advice while you and Jim were preoccupied,” Li says.

  “Can you repeat it for Jim and I?” Em asks Pete.

  “Sure. All I said was to avoid making eye contact.”

  Em smirks. “With anyone?”

  “Except us.”

  “Of course.”

  “Did you make any friends last week?” Jim asks

  “We gelled with the geeks, who have their own table at lunch,” January says. “But now that we’re all here we’re gonna have to oust one group or another from their table in order to claim one as our own.”

  “Who should we boot?” Em asks as I was about to.

  “Depends who you want as enemies,” January says.

  “Who’s the least likely to give us a lot of trouble?” Jim asks.

  “That’s probably the really obese kids,” January says. “Most of them all sit together.”

  “We’re not gonna bully the poor overweight kids,” I say.

  “Wait,” Pete says. “I have an idea.”

  “We’re listening,” Jim says after a beat.

  “The allergy tables,” January and Pete say at once. Then just Pete says, “There are three allergy tables but only one is full at Junior - Senior lunch. So, we could take one of those. Just say we have food allergies.”

  “You don’t need a doctor’s note to sit there?” Jim asks, his eyebrows cinched together, revealing his skepticism.

  “Just a note from your parents,” Pete says. “Unless, of course, it’s already in your school records.”

  “You can put that in our records by lunch?” Em asks.

  “Oui,” he says with a shit-eating grin.

  Em smiles and bats her eyes. “Just the word I was looking for.”

  “We better head in now,” January says.

  “Unless you want to stop time,” Jim says to Em, teasing her.

  “I told you I
don’t know how we did that,” Em says as we all head for the school.

  We’re going through the open double doors when I accidentally elbow Melinda, the one who’s supposed to show us around. “Sorry, Melinda,” I say. No sooner do I realize I’m not supposed to know her name yet.

  “It’s OK,” she says. And then, “Wait. How do you know my name?”

  I open my mouth but don’t know what to say. Apparently, I’m bad at that today.

  “We overheard some guy say it and motion toward you a few minutes ago,” Em says.

  “What’d he look like?” Melinda asks, eyes on me.

  “Brown hair, I think,” I say. “Thin.”

  Melinda looks at her friends. “It must’ve been Stevie. I told you that sick fuck was still obsessing over me.”

  “I’ll talk to him,” one of her female friends says.

  “No, Tanya, you’ve done quite enough already.”

  Her friend looks away from her. “Would you rather I have said nothing?”

  “No. I don’t know. Let’s go find him.”

  That said, Melinda and Tanya head into the school with another girl and their male friends in tow. My friends and I let them pass before we go in and step aside, out of the way of the rush of students.

  Li laughs. “Looks like we’re capable of starting shit even without magic.”

  Em starts laughing really hard, perplexing everyone.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask her.

  “Us doing normal high school shit,” she says. “Not using magick.”

  “That is funny,” Jim says, though he doesn’t laugh.

  “We need a word to use in lieu of magick,” Pete says.

  “Well, we could just talk about it with telepathy,” January says. “For when we do need to discuss it.”

  “How about we call it white out?” Li suggests.

  “Then people will think we’re sniffing the shit to get high,” Jim says.

  “What about candy?” Em offers.

  “Candy,” I say. “I like that.”

  “Me, too,” January says.

  “Anyone object?” Jim asks.

  Nobody says anything.

  “Fine,” I say. “Candy it is then.”